Allowing yourself to have fun
I’ve been thinking a bit this week about fun. In particular the ability to have fun, relax, enjoy, be silly and free. Absolutely no alcohol involved - just pure authentic human joy. Because I think fun is something I haven’t had much of in the past 10 years or so to be honest. I have fun here and there but (and this is the key), I don’t allow myself to have fun frequently. I don’t invest effort and time into creating fun and more joy on a regular basis in my life.
WHY?
Well, in a weird way I think it may be a bit of a self punishment. Or perhaps fear? And I’ve come to understand that to allow myself more fun in life, I have to first accept and love myself for who I am, and truly believe that I am worthy of happiness. For so long I’ve lived the life of a victim in many ways. I’ve walked this Earth feeling hurt. Damaged. Definitely damaged in the sense of feeling not good enough. Not good enough at my job, not good enough to have a ‘happy relationship’, you name it I felt not good enough. This (thankfully!) changed just over 6 months ago when by chance I came across Kathrin Zenkina. She introduced me to the concept of the soul and the universe and the way in which we are all uniquely exactly who we are meant to be. This wasn’t a new concept for me, I’ve heard it many times before, but for some reason at that moment in my life the penny dropped and I not only heard it but embraced it’s truth.
I’ve never been religious, but I’ve always understood and accepted within myself that there is something more. I do think as an artist as well, we become very aware of intuition and forces guiding us beyond our own mind - our gut instincts if you will. But it wasn’t until I came across Kathrin that I began to actually feel comfort in my unique place within the universe. Comfort in my souls journey and a trust in my intuition. I am not lacking anything, I just haven’t tapped in to everything that is already inside of me. For the first time in my 34 years on this Earth, I feel grounded. I have faith in myself and my abilities in a way I never have before. Some may say that talk of the soul and the universe is airy-fairy but for me it is deeply rooted and anchoring. It has allowed myself to begin shedding the limiting beliefs that are blocking my ability to allow myself to experience and create fun.
So although there is still so much work to do, I have made more progress in my mental state in the last 6 months than I have ever before. And guys, I’ve been to more counsellors and psychologists than I have fingers - one was amazing - the rest nothing more than meh. Don’t get me wrong, I believe the work they do is so so important and vital to saving lives, in particular when people are in crisis. I’m sure I would not be here today if it weren’t for the psychologists I’ve seen along the way, but I found with them I would only ever reach a plateau. I would get so far, level out and then stay there, going no higher, in fact always falling back down after time. As if I’d get my head above water but still be treading, treading, treading, just to keep afloat. But now, it’s like a new path was shown to me, where I can clearly see now that I just need to roll on my back and float. I don’t need to struggle, I can be, just be me.
The key is allowing yourself to receive fun. This ability comes freely when you deeply believe you are worthy.
And this rolls straight back in to the concept of fun. See when we are having fun, we are just being. We are ourselves, in the moment, open to receiving joy and happiness. And I think that’s the real key, allowing yourself to be open to receive. To receive happiness, to receive love, to receive joy, to receive abundance. When we are hurt, when we are in a victim mind frame, we have invisible restrictions on ourselves that block the receiving of good things. We believe we are not worthy, so we can’t let the good stuff in. But now, I finally feel worthy, I feel acceptance of myself - my unique self - and this has opened up a whole new ability to let myself receive. It’s exciting. It’s new. I am going to actively seek fun and more importantly allow myself to receive its happiness.
Do let me know if this resonates with you. Let me know if you’ve noticed yourself blocking fun from your life also.
Next week marks week 3 of my creative pilgrimage and I can’t wait to see what happens.
Talk soon,
Sarah x